The holidays have a way of stirring things up. For many people, this season is filled with gatherings, lights, music, and pressure to feel joyful. But if you’re grieving — whether your loss is recent or many years old — the holidays can feel complicated.
You might notice moments of sadness mixed into the festivities, or you might feel like every commercial, decoration, or tradition brings up the absence of someone who mattered deeply. You’re not doing anything wrong — you’re being human in a season that can magnify what (and who) is missing.
There’s no “right” way to grieve during the holidays. There’s only your way.
Here are some gentle, realistic ways to tend to yourself and stay connected to what matters most.
1. Make room for your feelings — all of them
Grief doesn’t clock out for the holidays. You might feel sadness one moment and laughter the next. You might feel numb. You might feel unexpectedly angry. It’s all valid.
Try giving yourself permission to feel whatever comes up without judging it. If emotions rise during a family gathering or on a quiet night at home, take a breath and remind yourself:
“This is part of love. This is part of remembering.”
Making space for your feelings doesn’t make the grief bigger — it keeps it from spilling over in ways that feel overwhelming.
2. Honor your loved one in ways that feel natural
Rituals don’t have to be elaborate. They don’t even have to be public.
Here are simple ways to honor the person you’re missing:
- Light a candle in their favorite color
- Cook a dish they loved
- Play a song that reminds you of them
- Hang an ornament or photo in a special place
- Write them a letter
- Share a memory with someone who understands
Sometimes the quietest rituals hold the most meaning. Honoring your loved one isn’t about “moving on” — it’s about carrying them with you in ways that feel grounding.
3. Find connection — with yourself, or with others
Connection doesn’t have to look like big gatherings or holiday parties.
Sometimes it means:
- Talking with one trusted person
- Reaching out to a support group
- Spending time with a pet
- Going for a walk and letting your thoughts settle
- Sitting in silence and placing a hand on your heart
Connection can also mean giving yourself space instead of pushing yourself to be social. Both are valid forms of caring for yourself.
If you do feel up to being with others, you might say something simple like, “This time of year is a little tough for me. I’m glad to be here, but I may be a bit quiet.”
Most people will appreciate the honesty.
4. Create new traditions without forcing them
When someone meaningful is gone, old traditions can feel bittersweet — or even painful.
You’re allowed to:
- Change things
- Skip things
- Create something completely new
New traditions might include a walk in nature, a morning cup of tea with a moment of reflection, buying a small gift your loved one would’ve liked and donating it, or spending the day in a way that feels comforting rather than obligatory.
Traditions don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful.
5. Be gentle with yourself
Grief during the “most wonderful time of the year” can feel isolating when everyone else seems happy. But the truth is, many people carry their own grief in December — even if it’s tucked beneath the surface.
If the holidays feel heavy, let yourself:
- Say no to things you don’t have the energy for
- Set realistic expectations
- Take breaks
- Cry when you need to
- Laugh when it comes naturally
- Rest
Your grief deserves space and so does your need for comfort.
You’re not alone. And you’re not behind.
Grief isn’t something to fix or get over — it’s something we learn to live with, grow around, and carry in ways that honor the person we lost and the person we’re becoming.
If this season is tender for you, we see you.
We honor your story.
And if you want support — someone to talk to, a space to process, or tools to navigate this time — the therapists at Thrive Creative Arts Therapy are here when you’re ready.
You deserve care, compassion, and permission to show up exactly as you are this holiday season.
